For eight years prior to joining the collegiate coaching ranks I served as a high school football coach basically at every level, from being a freshmen football assistant coach to becoming a head coach at the varsity level. I can assure those were some of the most rewarding years of my professional life. And I sincerely believe some of the finest collegiate coaches that I had the pleasure of working with began their careers as high school coaches.
Those years also afforded me the opportunity to understand the day to day experiences and challenges at the high school level. Some of my nearest and dearest friends are high school football coaches. I respect and honor the profession that they have chosen. They make a difference in young lives every day. I become so disappointed when I hear athletes and parents criticizing their respective coaches, whether it is because of a particular offense, defense, position change or the recruiting process. As a former member of that fraternity, trust me when I 
tell you there are no secrets when it comes to being aware of that type of criticism.
If you are that parent in the stands before the game “holding court” and questioning the abilities of your coach, he WILL know. More importantly it is just not right. If you are that parent that meets your son after a practice or game and immediately begin to verbalize your feelings concerning the coaches abilities that coach has no chance of getting your son to play to his optimum performance level. Why? As the most significant person in your son’s life, “you” are placing doubt in his mind, and every time his coach attempts to make him a better person or a better player that resounds in his mind. Does this coach know what he is talking about or is my Mom/Dad right about the inabilities of my coach? Get it?
My next statement may rock you just a bit, and you may not believe me. Are you ready for this: “YOUR HIGH SCHOOL COACH CANNOT GET YOU A COLLEGIATE SCHOLARSHIP!”
Breathe deep, and let me explain. I have great lifetime friends who are high school coaches, and they could not tell me to take a player and have me unequivocally respond with a scholarship. They can make me aware of a player, send me a transcript and DVD, and reference the player’s character, and I as a collegiate coach now have the role to determine whether the young person in question can compete at the level that I coach. Period !
College coaches are hired and compensated based upon their ability to coach the game and to recruit. A college coach cannot overlook a particular player of superior skill and character and take a player of lesser traits because of a friendship with a high school coach. The fact is that you must partner with your coach to assist him in assisting your son.
A hypothetical yet accurate example: Let us just say that there are fifteen seniors on your high school team. Tomorrow, each of those seniors should take in ten blank tapes, ten envelopes, ten stamps and the names of ten colleges that you want the tapes sent to, not bad, he only 150 DVD copies to make,150 letters to send, and he only has to look up the contact material for 150 schools. Perhaps he can do this between the classes he teaches or at lunch time, or perhaps he can have wife send these out. Get the message here?
My solution to this problem is to make an appointment with your high school coach and construct a plan as to how you can assist him to assist your son. And if you have a strained relationship with your coach it is my sincerest advice to you to set up a meeting and put those differences behind you. If on signing day or on graduation day you are in a position where your son has no collegiate playing options because you were too proud to reach out to your high school coach and mend the relationship then my words to you are, “Shame on you.”
If this type of situation that I just described reflects your current relationship with your high school coach, do something about it ASAP. I know we are all human and have differences at times, but the best advice that I am able to give to you if this applies to you, “like and get along with your high school coach at least until graduation day!”
Best wishes, and know that we at NCSA are here to help!
Coach C. Bob Chmiel
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